i kept calling it recharging. a saturday on the couch. phone in hand, three episodes deep, telling myself i'd earned it. and i had — the week was a lot. but by sunday night i didn't feel restored. i felt heavier. like i'd spent two days running from something instead of resting from it. that's when it clicked: rest and avoidance can look identical from the outside. same couch, same blanket, same closed laptop. the difference is on the inside, and it's worth learning to feel