defensiveness. that's a good way to start one of these... one my uber-nerdy hobbies is looking at charts (or making my own like i did today thanks to Claude Code - which is magic, btw). specifically, macro-economic trend charts. i'm interested in the decades-long story, not the recent trends. recent trends are helpful too, but i am interested in where we've been and where we're going, and i genuinely want to know if things are getting better or worse. the chart i asked Claude

i kept calling it recharging. but man am i good at lying to myself... as my therapist often reminds me, "your brain is not on your side." a saturday on the couch. phone in hand, three episodes deep. another slice of pizza, then a fourth. then a fifth. polishing off that "almost empty" bottle of wine that had three pours left. telling myself i earned it. and i had — the week was a lot. action items, fire drills, kids, hobbies, health, self care, the bear, guy's grocery games n

it was happening again. i was spinning out. my brain wouldn't stop. one problem became two. two became five. everything was wrong -- my re-fi was delayed. my kid got in trouble at school (man, i'm such a bad parent). my start up was almost out of money - how was I going to pay my bills? would my career be over because i was a cfo who couldn't raise money? my wife was mad at me. my son was mad at me. i was mad at me. stop. stop. STOP! i called my friend Jay, as i often do in t